It's been a few days and I can't remember all we've had to eat. I'm just going to do a run down of things that stand out.
Friday I helped out in Jenna's class for an hour. That evening the cousins came over. We had pizza and watched "Underdog." (Dion and I were unimpressed. What's the deal with kids' movies these days?) While everyone was here we managed to have only one thing broken - a light bulb from a table lamp. The kids were getting too crazy with the exercise ball, which was then confiscated, while I was on the phone. Saturday morning we went to the Wheeler Farm and saw the animals and took a ride on a trailer pulled by a tractor. There was snow on the ground, but it was sunny and we took coats/hats/mittens, so it was enjoyable.
That day my back started bothering me again.
Saturday night Dion and I went on a date. First, we used a gift card from his work to have dinner at The Market Street Grill. Then, we saw the Utah Symphony perform a couple of Rachmaninoff pieces (Rach is one of Dion's favorites) and one by Shostakovich (who I've never heard of before).
Sunday was OK, Sunbeams went better than it did the week before. But, with my back problem it was hard. I ended up having to kind of drag Randy back to his seat several times because I couldn't bend to pick him up. I have to confess that after church I had a little breakdown and started weeping as we sat at the table having lunch. I was just feeling frustrated and like a lousy teacher and mother and tired and in pain and it all kind of piled up on me. Dion told me to go lay down for a while, so I did. But, I hate doing that because then I feel like a wimp, like I can't handle minor things that everyone else can. I COULD handle it, I just needed to let it out first.
Yesterday, we went to school to see Jenna receive her Chief Example to Others award. They choose 2 kids per grade every month. Corey's friend, Jakob, also received that award for 3rd grade, so we got to see him and his parents there. Jenna's teacher wrote a great paragraph about her and how she's enthusiastic, always smiling and helping others. Dion took some pictures that will either be here or on the other blog. . .eventually. It was interesting - during the awards Corey asked if he could go back to school. Dion told him that if he can show us he can work independently and get along well with other kids we'd talk about it. In the van on the way home he said that since Jenna was such a good student he wanted to be a good student too. What do I make of all of that? It really is difficult having one kid in school and one out. Life just feels disjointed, like I can't focus on one or the other and like our ideals aren't consistent or something. I can't describe it. Sometimes I just feel lost! I don't know WHAT to do for my kids and our family, I feel like I don't organize family responsibilities well or discipline effectively, I'm numb to spiritual promptings because I don't take the time/don't know how to settle down and listen, yet I feel weak and like I don't have the power, strength and self-discipline to change anything. (Just FYI, these feelings could have something to do with PMS. They feel real to me, but from week to week, I change how I feel. So, who knows? I try to observe myself objectively.)
I also finally saw a chiropractor yesterday. He didn't really do much but bend me around, asked me to describe what was going on, took some x-rays. I'm going back today at 10:30. They have a playroom there, so I can take Corey and Randy, which is nice. I think I'll take the laptop and a movie for them, too. Yesterday he suggested I continue the stretches I'd been doing, but also to put ice on my back for 10 mintues and then leave it off for an hour. It DID feel nice! I feel mostly the same today, maybe a smidge better. He's going to do the "adjusting" at today's appointment.
As a side note, for Christmas Dion got a Skip Dr. which is supposed to fix scratched CDs and DVDs. I just have to say, that was a great purchase! We've fixed up lots of discs. One of The Office DVDs from the library was scratched, and right during a good part, so we tried the Skip Dr. and after we ran the disc through it was perfect!
Our ward is in charge of church meetings for the Alzheimer's center down the road this month and they've asked for special musical numbers. They do the meetings on Wednesday. I asked Corey if he'd be interested in singing. He said sure. I said he'd probably be singing by himself. He said, "You mean a solo?" When I told him yes, he seemed fine with it. I don't think he was born with the shy, timid, I'm-too-embarrassed gene. But, I said I'd prefer not to do it this week because of my back pain. Unfortunately, all the other weeks already have musical numbers scheduled. So, I'll tell them to just put his name down for next time our ward is in charge.
This is a busy week. Tonight I have 2 visiting teaching appointments, tomorrow we are having dinner and pie at Diane's house and then I have an Enrichment meeting, Thursday is Corey's Scout pack meeting and Dion has some visits to make.
Well, that's it for now. I need to get R dressed, start laundry, do dishes, etc. before we go. I really want to post some pictures soon. . .
4 comments:
Once again... where to start?
First I have melt-downs and I hate them and I think they are PMS related - but at the time they really feel real. WHY? Maybe they are.
I think three hours is a VERY long time to ask 3 yr. olds to sit. I suppose though that with enough practice they can do it. They must, or you wouldn't have that that way.
It's great that Jenna excels (sounds like in everything she does) and perhaps it'll motivate Corey somewhat?
You're doing good, important and difficult work.
Summer,
First of all, I didn't know your back was hurting! that is awful. It affects everything you do! I hope you get relief soon.
Other than that I can't even begin to tell you how much I admire and respect you! You are just about the best mom I've ever seen! None of us are perfect of course but you are quite patient and always teaching and loving from what I see (and hear). I know it's normal to be hard on ourselves but keep in mind that all the shortcomings that you see in yourself are most likely NORMAL and everyone else feels that same way about themselves. You are doing great! I wish I was as good a mom to my kids when they were young as you are to yours.
i've got to tell you that i was called into the nursery about 2 days after we moved into my parents basement (i was 5 months pregnant with isaac). I came home and cried EVERY SINGLE WEEK until they released me. it was the worst calling i ever had. i totally feel your pain. (back and otherwise)
Thanks for your encouragement. I don't want to sound like a complainer or like I'm fishing for compliments. Sometimes I just have to vent or rant or whatever you want to call it! And, it IS nice to know that maybe I'm normal and other people sometimes feel inadequate, too.
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